Gained Insight
by Maetro
Summary: A one-shot companion piece to Chapter 29 of Gaining Clarity. Pam's thoughts on Emily's date with Paige, and a Skype session with Wayne. Written for Ren-McCullers. Probably kind of rambling, and possibly nonsensical.


**Author's Note:** For Ren-McCullers, who put the idea for this scene into my head.

A companion piece to Chapter 29 of **Gaining Clarity**. A one shot about Pam Field's thoughts as Emily and Paige go out on their first date.

 **Gained Insight**

 **By Maetro**

Pam let out a sigh as the door swung shut with a soft click, and resisted the urge to move to the window and watch the girls head down the walkway to the car. She turned her attention instead to the camera in her hand, scrolling through the photos she had just finished taking as she made her way over to the couch.

The images brought a smile to her face, a reaction she wouldn't have been able to fathom even a few weeks ago. Her daughter was out on a date with another girl. And, she was okay with it. More than okay with it, really. She was actually quite happy for Emily.

Emily had found herself quite an amazing girl. Paige was everything that Pam had ever hoped for her daughter to find in a partner, someone who was kind and caring, compassionate and sweet. Warm and funny and smart. And the adoration in her eyes, when she looked at Emily, was clear.

A real princess charming.

She'd been around the house a lot lately. Much more than Pam would have thought she'd be comfortable with, considering the nature of their relationship. But, watching them together, especially in those unguarded moments when they didn't realize Pam was watching them, was actually kind of sweet.

Definitely not a word she would have associated with Emily's sexuality when she'd first come out. A small frown tugged at her lips as she remembered what a mess she'd made of things. So many mistakes, things said, things left unspoken. She held a lot of regret over those few weeks. It was a miracle that there was any relationship left to salvage, she was brutally aware of that fact now. But, Emily was definitely her father's daughter, she had his heart, his compassion, and his infinite capacity for forgiveness.

The thought gave her comfort, gave her hope. The two of them had been talking more lately, these past few days, ever since Emily had brought Paige around that first time, things had gotten steadily easier. Emily had dropped her guard, she was being less defensive, more open. And Pam, she was making an effort to be more open as well.

She felt like she had Paige to thank for that, for bringing her daughter back to her. It was still early days on their relationship, but, she'd seen the way they looked at each other, seen the way they cared for each other. This wasn't some fleeting romance, this was the real deal.

She'd never seen Emily so devoted to another person before, not even Alison, who she'd had a serious case of hero worship for. Nor, Maya, who she had been absolutely smitten with. She was going to be seeing a lot of Paige, she just knew it.

Smiling to herself, she shook her head at the thought as she made her way over to her laptop, charging on the small desk in the alcove between the kitchen and the living room. She booted it up, and inserted the memory card from the camera, loading the new photos onto the hard drive before opening a new email and attaching them to send to Wayne.

She knew that he and Emily had skyped this morning, and Emily had probably filled him in on the details of her date..

As much as it pained her that Emily didn't feel as comfortable confiding in her the way she did her father, she was glad that the two of them were so close, that her daughter had someone to talk to. She didn't begrudge her husband's relationship with their daughter, even if she did envy it a little, and he was definitely going to want to see these photos.

She had just sent the email when she noticed that the icon for her skype app was flashing. Feeling a jolt of eager anticipation she clicked on it, waiting impatiently for the screen to load, and grinning widely as her husband's face filled the screen.

"Hey, babe," he said, his voice low and gravelly, the smile on his face warm and eager.

"Hey," she managed around the lump in her throat, her eyes welling up a little at the sight of him, as blurry and pixelated as it was.

His smile grew soft, and she wiped at the tears in her eyes.

"I didn't expect to see you on tonight," she admitted. "Or, this morning?" She could never quite keep track of the times zones, despite how many years he'd been overseas.

He chuckled and nodded. "Didn't expect to be on base. But, a mission got scrubbed, now we're just cooling our heels. What about you, babe? How you holding up?"

Pam lifted a hand, wagging it back and forth. "Eh."

"Our baby girl is out on a date right now, huh?"

Pam nodded. "Yep."

"How are you doing with that?"

She bit back a grin at his careful probing. They had rehashed this issue time and time again, going round and round on Pam's inability to accept the fact that their daughter was gay. Despite his impassioned pleas, despite seeing the hurt and sorrow in Emily's eyes she had, for the longest time, simply been unable to get over her own misconceptions. It had only been recently that she had begun to come around, and finding out that her daughter was dating had almost been enough to set her back.

If it had been anyone other than Paige, it just might have. But, there was just something about that girl.

"Fine, actually."

His eyes narrowed a little, a playful grin on his lips. "You wouldn't be lying to me, now would you?"

"No," she answered, being completely honest.

He studied her appraisingly, and Pam shrugged sheepishly, offering up a smile. "You should see them together, Wayne," she said, as if that were an actual explanation. And, maybe to anyone who had witnessed them together, it would be.

He frowned faintly at her words.

"Check your email. I sent you some photos."

She watched as his eyes flicked away from the camera, focusing on the other side of his screen as he pulled open his email account and found her message. She could tell the moment he found it by the way his gaze sharpened focus, and the small, proud smile that tugged at his lips.

"She looks beautiful," he said softly, his eyes raising to meet Pam's.

She nodded. "Stunning," she agreed. "And, so very much in love."

She bit back a grin as she watched his eyes widen at her words, then flick back to the images. Slowly, he began to nod, before catching himself and turning his full attention back to her.

"Pam-"

"It's okay, honey. I'm okay," she stressed. "Paige is…" she trailed off, trying to collect her thoughts. "I never thought I'd say this, I never thought I'd _feel_ this, but Paige is perfect for our daughter. She's funny and smart and sweet. And, she brings out the best in Emily." She'd seen the change in Emily since her and Paige had rekindled their friendship, had kindled their romance. The drive that she had once possessed had returned, her competitive spirit as well as the light within her. And Paige, she was such an adorable little goofball, kind of shy and painfully earnest.

Pam stumbled over her words, trying to convey to Wayne just how things were between them. "…you really have to see it to believe it," she finished with.

He let out a low whistle. "So, you really are okay with all this," he said contemplatively.

"Who'd have thought, huh?" Pam allowed herself a wry smile of acknowledgment. It had been a lot, hard road, and she imagined there would be some tough times still ahead, but, she was here now, finally on even ground.

He nodded faintly, but didn't say anything.

"You'd love her," Pam added.

Wayne nodded again. "From what you've said, it sounds like it. And…it sounds like you already do."

Pam let out a soft, startled laugh at being called out on something that she had vaguely realized, but hadn't yet acknowledged. "You know what, I probably do. Not as much as Emily, mind you."

"You think that Emily loves her?"

"If she doesn't, she's well on her way."

"Yeah," Wayne agreed softly. "I got that impression when we were talking earlier. I thought it would scare me a little more, our daughter in love with someone. But, oddly enough, I feel okay with it."

Pam nodded, she agreed with the sentiment. "Our little girl's all grown up," she said, smiling a little wistfully at the thought, remembering when Emily was just a little girl, full of energy and that wide, easy grin of hers, following Pam around, chatting her ear off and eagerly tugging on her arm as she went off, exploring the world. Sometimes, she missed that little girl. And other times, often times, she loved seeing the young woman that Emily had grown into. "In another couple years, she'll be off at university."

"From your mouth to God's ears," Wayne murmured, making Pam smile, and nod in agreement.

"But, I don't feel like we're losing her," she admitted. "Just, the opposite, in fact. I feel like we're finally getting our daughter back."

"With a bonus, extra daughter?" Wayne teased. "Buy one, get one free?"

Pam laughed, but there was a ring of truth to his words. It really did feel like they were gaining another daughter in Paige.

"I can't wait for you to meet her," she said after a moment.

"Yeah. Me too." He smiled softly at her, across the line, and Pam felt that familiar lump in her throat, as well as the flutter in her belly. She really was an emotional mess these days. But, all in a good way. She blinked back a fresh wave of tears and just stared into her husband's eyes for a long minute, letting out a soft sigh when she saw regret slowly creep into them.

"I love you, babe," he said softly.

"I love you too."

She watched as her husband's image flickered and disappeared, staring at the faint silhouette that remained on screen before shutting the program down and rising from her chair.


End file.
